Lord - I am afraid and feared.

Afflictions, be they spiritual, financial, health or whatever always give rise to fear.  It's natural, in our weakness and frailty to fear - especially when our sight is restricted and we can't see ahead.  We, certainly with help from the enemy, conjure all the worse case scenarios.

They haunt us and steal our peace.  they're divert us from the Word and prayer and all those blessings God provides to strengthen us and calm our hearts.  We are threatened by the possibility of drifting away from the only true source of life and hope.

But, in these times, we also come to realize that our afflictions give rise to fear in those around us.  Our testing, our refining  confronts those around us, I write of other believers, with their fears as well.  This has the common result of isolating us from the encouragement and comfort God desires us to have through them.  We miss being comforted with the comfort He comforts them with.

Their prayers are blessings, their hesitation to get intimately involved crushes us.  We are told of their prayers for us and some will pray with us but then they are gone and we are alone.  We are grateful for their prayers but we are none the less overwhelmed with a sense of abandonment, real or imagined.

We want our affliction to be, well, appreciated and acknowledged in all its sensed magnitude.  We want someone sometimes anyone, to share our pain and fear but apart from our loving Lord it seems a thing only to be wished for, ached for.   As I once heard a small child had said, "Sometimes we need Jesus with skin on."

Our Lord is utterly acquainted with all our griefs and yes, that is sufficient.  But I don't believe He intended to be the only one.  Too many verses enjoin us to share one another's burdens, to comfort one another, to be present with one another in affliction.  But, this is not common to our experience.

This is, I regret to say, because of their fear that they might become too intimately involved in the affliction.  Sadly, perhaps, they believe it will cost them too much.  Perhaps they fear they might "catch" the affliction.  Worst of all, it may be that they fear having to give up their comfort and that they do not believe they can do.

I am afraid and feared.  Like the woman in Mark who has to fight her way to Jesus merely to touch the hem of His garment, the afflicted are often prevented, by others, from getting close, from touching Him.  

Many of you face this struggle in you affliction.  It's tough and troubling.  But sometimes, as I think I am learning, He wants us to turn to and trust in Him alone.  We must not allow the deceiver to distract us by criticism of others - not even dismay about others - certainly not anger at others.  

In the garden we see Jesus in just this situation.   He takes His closest with them and they, so overcome with their own fears and fatigue - sleep.  Jesus is disappointed - I am sure He was dismayed and hurt.  But He understood their frailty and returned to the Father, the only hope and source that will not hinder, will not fear, will not sleep as we struggle in our afflictions and pain.

Father, keep my heart sweetly in You even in the fear and affliction.  Keep me from harsh thoughts of those who fear me and my need.  Help me - no, make me as understanding and compassionate as my Master.  Keep my mind and heart focused on You alone and let me be surprised by those You send to comfort and encourage me - for Your glory and my good in You.
Amen

EXTRA For we who fear, pray and work to fear rightly!

Sinful fear -- not uncommon - not good.

In his work, Triumphing Over Sinful Fear, John flavel writes some things that I have found convicting and heart breaking in my life.  Perhaps you will be blessed by his words as I was.  I highly recommend the book as a companion to scripture in these difficult times.  He writes of 3 kinds of fear, natural, sinful and holy --- well worth reading and following his guidance.

"Some fear more than they ought, some fear before they ought and others when they ought not at all.  The strong Christian fears God, not man.  The weak Christian fears man too much and God too little."

Based upon what we find in Hosea Flavel writes:
"But their eyes do not look to Me for protection and deliverance.  They expect more from Egypt than from heaven, more from a broken reed than from the Rock of Ages.  Do not fear their fear!  It drives them from Me to the creature.  It first distracts them, and then ensnares them.  In marked contrast, see that you and all the faithful in the land sanctify Me in your hearts, and make Me your fear and dread.  Rely upon Me by faith in this day of trouble.  See that you give Me the glory of My wisdom, power, and faithfulness by relying entirely upon My attributes that are engaged for you in so many tested promises.  Do not give yourself to sinful and vain dealings, as those who have no interest in Me nor experience of Me."

"Sinful fear will cause the best people to attempt to help themselves through sinful compromises."

Isa. 30:15-17a
"In a word, one act of faith will do them more good than Pharaoh and all his forces.  But they refuse to trust God."

"The sinfulness of fear lies in its exess and immoderacy when we fear more than we ought. . . . . Our fear exceeds the value and merit of its cause.  It is a great sin to love or fear any creature above its worth, as if it were master of all our temporal and eternal comforts."

"To trust in any creature as if it had God's power to help us, or to fear any creature as if it had God's power to hurt us, is exceedingly sinful."

Isa. 31:1
"It is a sinful and dangerous mistake to give to a creature that trust and dependence that belongs to God alone."

"Be careful not to fear any man, as if the power of making or marring you were in his hands - as if it were his will and pleasure to save or ruin you.  Do not fear those who can only touch your body, as if they could damn your soul; do not attribute to any creature God's sovereign and incommunicable power."

"The sinfulness of fear consists in its power to dispose and incline people to use sinful means to escape danger.  This casts them into the hands of temptation."

You are in our prayers.