Sinning Away Conviction

Sinning away conviction of sin.
In his book, Indwelling Sin in Believers, John Owen writes of the believer who, "sins away his conviction of sin."

I must admit that this was a source of very real conviction for me.  I reflected upon how often I catch myself engaged in something that one might consider a "little" sin with less conviction than I should have.  Maybe a book or a TV show or a movie.  Even the purchase of something that I delude myself into believing will bring some lasting satisfaction and meaning to my life.

I am confronted with the question, "How sensitive to sin and I - really?"  I have to admit that like many folks I don;t do well in my answer.  As James tells us, my desires create havoc in my soul that unfortunately is common enough to be dismissed unless directly confronted from outside.

This is due to several things not the least of which is an intentional examination of most of my life in the light of the Word and the Spirit.  What seems OK is most often not.  The law of grace loses it's power to restrain me because my mind is not fixed upon Him, His sovereignty and His calling.  I simply find it distressingly easy to let the "little" one's slip by.

Though these "sins" are (according to man;s measure) "little" they have the cumulative effect of numbing my heart to sin in general.  The old "everyone does it," or the "it's not a biggy," even "I'm redeemed and forgiven," are poor rationales for my failure in regards to these sins.

I have to make myself remember that if I had only committed the least of these "acceptable" sins Christ would have still had to suffer the horrors of their payment.  There only one acceptable payment for any and all sins but I, maybe like may of you, have a tough time keeping this in the front of my mind.

So I grow numb to conviction in an ever increasing way and find myself humiliated by greater lapses.  Lapses that would not have been so easy to make had i dealt honestly and directly with the "lesser" sins.

All this is to say that we must (ok, maybe it's just me) must do whatever is needful to become and remain sensitive to all sin in our lives.

This take intentional commitment and discipline.  It is hard and tedious work.  It looks a lot like legalism but though the law was fulfilled its use in our lives still stands.  Somehow I have to move from being a mere fan of Jesus to being a fanatic for His glory.

Sin is spelled  S-I-N not O-O-P-S!

It's a scary proposition to consider praying for a level of sensitivity to sin that truly honors God.  So much of what is our lives - my life - will have to be examined and re-evaluated.  So much will have to change - even what seems like the minutia.

But - gratitude demands it.  God expects it.  The Word and the Spirit enable it.  Who am I to refuse it?

Pray to see to what degree you may had sinned away some of your conviction of sin.

Trusting God - Trouble (a) 021714

When we read Matthew 5 and 6 we are so blessed by the promises and assurances Jesus gives us.  There is so very much in these chapters that perhaps it is easy to miss some of it.  I've been thinking particularly of:

Matthew 6:34 ESV
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

I noticed first that "tomorrow will be anxious for itself."  I am comforted that Jesus understands our anxieties.  And I am encouraged that He counsels me to accept that there will be "anxiety" in each day.

And what would I count as "anxieties?"  Well, I would consider that the word translated anxiety means to be troubled with cares so what I am anxious about is what I have both legitimate concern for and illegitimate concern for.

I'm anxious about sin.  The day is full of temptations.  Gossip, lust, lack of trust, making "my" plans, poor stewardship are all potential concerns of mine.  But I can't let their potential comsume my mind.

I do however need to responsible for these temptations.  So in order to not be anxious about sin I need to prepare my mind and heart every morning for the coming day.  My days being pretty much a regular routine, I know when and how I'll be tempted for the most part.  I know where to divert my mind and my eyes.  I know when I need to pray and pretty much what I need to pray for.  But all of that is adressed early in the day before I leave home.

We, I think, are anxious in direct proportion to our lack of knowledge of our hearts and our failure to prepare ourselves for the day's trials and temptations.  I know that if I just rush into a day and fly on auto-pilot I not only miss the opportunity to avoid sin but I miss His blessings that come throughout the day.

Are you anxious about sin?  I think most of us are more anxious after the fact than before it.  But we can and need to get ahead of it by preparing ourselves for what we know is coming.  We must prepare our selves for that battle we fight every minute of every day and we need to prepare in His presense.

Lord, I go forth today in Your name and by Your power.  I enter the battle once more calling upon You to strengthen me and guide me; protect me and preserve me.  Make me more sensitive to temptations Lord.  It's so easy to get caught up in sinful things when I am insensitive to them.  Make my heart sensitive and my mind aware of what may come and what does come in the way of temptation and Lord grant that I might resist and where I fail to resist bring me to repentance  Amen

Ever Before Me 011014

For I know my transgressions, And my sin is ever before me.
Psalm 51:3

Do we - do we really know our transgressions?  Are we as aware of, as sensitive to sin as we should be?  I know I am not and that is a cause for great distress.

I catch myself in sin and am shocked that I never saw it coming.

Perhaps you would say that I am being too scrupulous.  But is that even possible?  Are there some sins that deserve more attention than others?  Are there OK and not OK sins?  Do I consider the opportunity for sin in every choice and decision I make?  Can I be too scrupulous concerning my sin?

Why can't I cry with Paul:   Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?  Romans 7:24

I hear much talk about pornography, drugs, adultery and fornication (among others) but I do not hear much talk of envy, covetousness, fear of man, etc.  Are we making distinctions between the seriousness of sin?

Take, for example, one I struggle with constantly:  The desire to have material comfort and security over and above having a strong and effective witness.  My prayers are constantly assaulted with interruptive and distracting thoughts concerning my "needs" which inhibits (to say the least) real heart-felt prayer for His glory and the salvation of those around me.

Or, consider the struggle in praying when one is envious of those who do not have to deal with my trials and afflictions.  It is hard to pray when one's heart is envious and covetous.  These are sins few others ever see and yet they are there and of no less import than any other.  Yet it is easy to dismiss them or at least minimize them because they do not fall into the category of "big sins" (as though there was such a thing).

I want to know my transgressions as David knew his and to hate them more that I may love Christ more.  I want to be more sensitive and active concerning those sins you don't see and probably wouldn't suspect that hinder my prayers and plague my heart.  They are so easy to miss or dismiss that I must pray for the Holy Spirit to make my conscience raw and sensitive to these sins.

How can I know His salvation and its worth if my sins are not always before me?

093013 Motes

John Owen wrote, "Most would rather hear of the doctrines of grace, the pardon of sin, and the free love of God than break the fallow ground of their hearts and see to the weeds and briars that grow thee, though this is the only way to come to a true knowledge of grace."  (Indwelling Sin in Believers)

Self-examination is not something that comes naturally to either reprobate or redeemed.  Certainly we avoid what we might call the "big" sins but we do that to avoid the unpleasant and public consequences more than we might do it for the glory of God.  But as there are NO distinctions made between sins the fact that we are so prone to make distinctions tell us a great deal about the condition of our souls.

It would seem, at least in my experience, that it is so very hard to take the time and make the effort to find the mote in my eye, much less the log.  Logs I can for the most part avoid.  But this makes me wonder if in this teaching Jesus was not trying to tell us that our personal motes are in actuality logs.  We will nit-pick another's sins while finding a comfortable means of avoiding doing the same for ourselves.

I would challenge us to take an accounting of our motes.  One Puritan writer, his name fails me, tells us the the "small" sins we commit and dismiss are more heinous than the (supposed) great sins.  The reason for this is that we commit the "lesser" sins with greater impunity thereby bringing greater insult to the glory of God and greater injury to our souls condition.

I would suggest that the apathy that is so prevalent in our age is now a part of our faith.  We carve out a comfortable harmatology (theology of sin) and do all we can to abide there regardless of the effort needed to maintain the self-deception.

I was talking with a friend who had just taken a very expensive vacation and was struck by the phrase, "I earned it, I deserved to take a break."  What distressed me was what appeared to be his utter disregard for the fact that he had earned nothing.  Though he labors diligently in his profession he seems to have no understaaning that everything he has is a gift, a blessing, a mercy from the heart of God.  Nor did he seem to realize that his attitude expressed a certain selfishness concerning this merciful provision.

These are the motes we need to seek to root out.  Where do we fail to keep God's providence and His intent for that providence?  How do we get to a point where we even think there is a possessive "mine" to any of God's merciful providence?  Yet, I - we do that so very often.  How do we experientially repent of such subtle sins as this?
Self-examination - diligent and disciplined - is demanded.  Certainly as His child I am secure in my salvation but am I faithful in it?  Is He indeed the sovereign Lord to whom all things belong and for whom all things should be done?  Or is He a co-sovereign Lord who at some point abdicates to me and allows me to reign over what He alone has provided.

Yes, we may have to work terribly hard in and for what He provides.  Long ours and hard work may be our daily lot but regardless of any effort or sacrifice on our part it is all from His providence and it is all, always His.  It never - ever- becomes ours.  This is a "mote" that is truly a log.  This is that one drop of poison that poisons the whole cup.

Sorrow for sins OR afflictions? Yep!! 001

Christopher Love, a Puritan preacher and writer makes a distinction in his, A Christian's Directory, between our sorrow for sin and our sorrow in afflictions and trials.  I highly recommend this book as a wonderful encouragement and of course, a challenge.

In this work he explores that curious place where we are sorrowing for our sins and 
afflictions, a place where we can lose our way and confuse our sorrowing.  It's not as complicated as it sounds but I wanted to post something to help those who consider reading this work get the most out of it.

We sorrow for sin and we sorrow for afflictions.  One is not necessarily related to the other.  As a matter of fact, one is easily confused for the other or embellished by the other resulting in just an unproductive sorrowing.

Let us first consider our sin.  We always need to start by turning our minds and hearts to the cross where the penalty for our sins was forgiven.  Then we need to look to the is empty tomb, the proof of His victory over sin and death for us.  This is how we can grasp the seriousness of our sin and deeply appreciate His graciousness.

But - we can't afford to just stop there.  It is a dangerous thing to be presumptuous concerning our being forgiven.  Yes, He died once for all and the matter, in God's economy, is settled - yet we still sin.  Since we still sin we need to still be convicted and brought to repentance.  We're not "done" and we won't be done until He comes or we go.

Sin is never not serious.  It impedes our usefulness to God, it dishonors God, it sullies His glory.  This we need to have abhor and be repelled by.  We need to sorrow for our sins - we need godly sorrow for our sins.

It is all too easy to sorrow simply for the consequences (here) of our sins.  There is nothing wrong with this but if that is all we sorrow for - well, we need to repent of that.  It is the sin itself we need to sorrow for.  

The world, the flesh and the devil want us to minimize our apprehension of our sin.  They want us to not see the terrible cost of them.  They do this by playing upon our assurance and adding to that the easy and dismissive view of sin that is so very rampant in the "church" today.  They want us to (as far as possible) hide our sins even from ourselves.

It is not fashionable in the church today to have the perspective of Paul:


Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?   (Rom 7:24)

Instead they want us to narrow our view to verses like:


For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.   (Rom 8:38-39)

Indeed this passage is true and we can rejoice in it.  But when it is used to corrupt and minimize our sense and conviction of sin we are severely damaged.

James tells us that in reference to sin we must:


Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.   (Jas 4:8-10)

"Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom."

This should be the response to sin in our lives that drives us to the throne of grace in humility and gratitude.  Ok - I'm not talking "shame" although a sense of it is never inappropriate when we are caught in a sin.  But I would encourage you to develop a stronger sense of guilt than shame.  Shame can focus our attention more on us than on Him.  Since our "guilt" is before God it is a more effective way to really see and understand our sin and our forgiveness than shame could ever be.

Sorrowing for sin may well have some focus on ourselves but the main focus must be on the one against whom we have sinned.  Not some mean, nasty, far off God who just waits for us to mess up so He can "get" us.  But the loving and gracious Father who from the beginning has provided the remedy for our sin and claims us as His own at His own expense.  In short we must go sorrowing to the One who has already forgiven us and acknowledge His grace and our faithlessness.  We have His forgiveness, we must seek His empowerment - strength - insight - power ect. to "kill" our sin.

Sorrow for sin is central to our faithfulness.  It is critical to our health.  It is essential for our effectiveness in displaying His glory.  

Father,

I have sinned, I do sin and i will sin.  We both know that.  Please give me such a heart for You and such a gratitude that I never dismiss or lightly engage my sin.  Help me indeed to sorrow mightily and appropriately for each and every sin.  

Do not allow me to continue insensitive to the sinfulness of sin.  Do not allow my head or my heart to presume upon Your forgiveness.  Rather may Your Spirit so convict me that I run to You as a small child confessing my sin and seeking the comfort of Your grace.  Help me to weep for my sin as I remember to great cost of its forgiveness.

Amen

Psalm 139:2 He understands!!!!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. 

(Psa 139:2)

Think about it.  I know you know that God knows when we sit don and when we rise up.  But have you considered that He "understands" our thoughts?  That's not just our good thoughts or our thoughts about Him but He understands our less than acceptable thoughts as well.  He understands!!

Consider:

Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted.   (Heb 2:17-18)

He understands!!

I don't know how to express the depth and breadth of this.  It, for me, is overwhelming and kind of a scary comfort.  He understands!!

Consider - He was made like us- He was tempted Himself.  Yes, unlike us He did not sin but He "gets it."

Now, this can in no way be taken as some sort of an excuse for our way-ward and inappropriate thoughts - sin is still sin and error will always be error - but He understands!!

As Patti and I pass through this time of testing and trial we have "not so good thoughts."  Fearful thoughts, legalistic thoughts, hopeless thoughts, fleshly thoughts and murmuring thoughts.  They just come and when they do they distress us - greatly.  But I keep having some interesting thoughts as well.

I think, "Why me, why this,why now, why so heavy?"  Kind of like Moses I want to say, "Here I am Lord, send Aaron!"   Even, "Let this cup pass from me!"  But I am humbled when

I have the thought, "If not me, then who?"  I struggle to accept that this is His will for us right now.  Not to sound arrogant - but, He picked us for this and this for us for His glory and honor - not to mention our blessing.  This makes us no more "special" than any other believers - it just makes us the ones He is using where we are, in this circumstance.

With no Egypt there would have been no Exodus.  Without a crucifixion there would have been no resurrection.  No, I'm not elevating myself or my situation but I am trying hard to see it within the context of God bringing glory to Himself and strengthening me.

What helps is, He understands my fearful and anxious thought,s and though I know He desires that I overcome them by trusting Him, He is sympathetic to my weakness and frailty (which is part of what He wants me to see and appreciate so I will lean on Him).

Please dear ones hold tight to the truth that He understands all our thoughts!  Yes, He disapproves of many and worries for us over others but none of them come as some cosmic shock to Him.  He knew we'd have them and has provided relief for and from them because He understands!

Father my heart and my mind are weak and rebellious.  Only You can temper and tame them.  Knowing that You understand and that You sympathize and provide is such a comfort.

But Father, do not let me grow lazy or complacent concerning them.  Let me take hold of them and bring them to You for Your ministry and mercy.  Be gentle with me Lord for I am much like a little rabbit - jumpy and anxious.  Care for me by giving me the heart of a child when it comes to You.  Give me stronger trust and firmer assurance as each day passes and my imaginings and fancies prove false though frightening.

Let me know more and more Your lovingkindness and Your understanding and open myself to Your instruction and care.  Make me remember Your past mercies and provision and be deaf to the lies and cries of the deceiver.  Let me look only to You and hear only You as You minister to me through Your Word, Your Spirit and Your people.

Thank You for letting me know - You understand!!

Amen

EXTRA For we who fear, pray and work to fear rightly!

Sinful fear -- not uncommon - not good.

In his work, Triumphing Over Sinful Fear, John flavel writes some things that I have found convicting and heart breaking in my life.  Perhaps you will be blessed by his words as I was.  I highly recommend the book as a companion to scripture in these difficult times.  He writes of 3 kinds of fear, natural, sinful and holy --- well worth reading and following his guidance.

"Some fear more than they ought, some fear before they ought and others when they ought not at all.  The strong Christian fears God, not man.  The weak Christian fears man too much and God too little."

Based upon what we find in Hosea Flavel writes:
"But their eyes do not look to Me for protection and deliverance.  They expect more from Egypt than from heaven, more from a broken reed than from the Rock of Ages.  Do not fear their fear!  It drives them from Me to the creature.  It first distracts them, and then ensnares them.  In marked contrast, see that you and all the faithful in the land sanctify Me in your hearts, and make Me your fear and dread.  Rely upon Me by faith in this day of trouble.  See that you give Me the glory of My wisdom, power, and faithfulness by relying entirely upon My attributes that are engaged for you in so many tested promises.  Do not give yourself to sinful and vain dealings, as those who have no interest in Me nor experience of Me."

"Sinful fear will cause the best people to attempt to help themselves through sinful compromises."

Isa. 30:15-17a
"In a word, one act of faith will do them more good than Pharaoh and all his forces.  But they refuse to trust God."

"The sinfulness of fear lies in its exess and immoderacy when we fear more than we ought. . . . . Our fear exceeds the value and merit of its cause.  It is a great sin to love or fear any creature above its worth, as if it were master of all our temporal and eternal comforts."

"To trust in any creature as if it had God's power to help us, or to fear any creature as if it had God's power to hurt us, is exceedingly sinful."

Isa. 31:1
"It is a sinful and dangerous mistake to give to a creature that trust and dependence that belongs to God alone."

"Be careful not to fear any man, as if the power of making or marring you were in his hands - as if it were his will and pleasure to save or ruin you.  Do not fear those who can only touch your body, as if they could damn your soul; do not attribute to any creature God's sovereign and incommunicable power."

"The sinfulness of fear consists in its power to dispose and incline people to use sinful means to escape danger.  This casts them into the hands of temptation."

You are in our prayers.