Psalm 6:6

I am weary with my sighing; Every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears. (Psa 6:6)

Everyone who knows what this is like, stand up!

Now the Psalm goes on to express great confidence in God and His mercy and justice so we're not going to have a pity party.

But - this sighing and tears should not be uncommon in the life of the believer.  We should be sighing and shedding teasr not only for our sins and our needs but for all those who do not have the comfort of knowing God and being His.

Oh, the verse struck me because of our hard times right now but God was gracious enough to not allow me to get stuck on me.  I not only thought of all the redeemed who are suffering affliction and need but of the countless millions who live (or lived) in the utter darkness and hopelessness of being godless and rebellious.

Our problems seem as nothing compared to the problems the un-redeemed live with and will face.  Imagine being in whatever situation you find yourself in and NOT having a loving and caring Father.  Imagine believing that you're here and you die with no purpose or reason.  Worse still (for me at least) imagine living believing that you were at the mercy - the utter mercy of fate (or whatever capricious entity you want).

Oh, I still weep for us and our affliction and need but I weep for others now as well.  Why?  Well - Jesus did.  the shortest verse in the Bible reads:


Jesus wept.   (Joh 11:35)

He wept even though He knewHhe was about to resurrect Lazarus. Why did He weep?  Well, we'll probably have to ask Him later.  But, He loved and He loved not just as the Son of God, the Redeemer but He loved as Jesus the teacher from Galilee - the guy.

Perhaps the thing I am learning the most recently is about the humanity of my Lord.  The more I see it the more amazed and humbled and comforted I am.  His Lordship and Savior-hood are indeed amazing - but to think that He was like you and I and He would weep for a friend - and for many many others - makes it OK for me to weep.

But, as I said - I have had to broaden the subject of my tears in His honor, for His glory and because He did.

Father let me weep but let me not simply weep for myself and my loved ones!  Let me weep for the brothers and sisters who struggle with every thing from the common difficulties here to the catastrophic difficulties here.  When I weep for me, open the arms of my heart to take in Your body and the lost as well.  Let my heart break yet make my soul sing in Your grace for Your creation.
Amen

Psalm 139:2 He understands!!!!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. 

(Psa 139:2)

Think about it.  I know you know that God knows when we sit don and when we rise up.  But have you considered that He "understands" our thoughts?  That's not just our good thoughts or our thoughts about Him but He understands our less than acceptable thoughts as well.  He understands!!

Consider:

Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted.   (Heb 2:17-18)

He understands!!

I don't know how to express the depth and breadth of this.  It, for me, is overwhelming and kind of a scary comfort.  He understands!!

Consider - He was made like us- He was tempted Himself.  Yes, unlike us He did not sin but He "gets it."

Now, this can in no way be taken as some sort of an excuse for our way-ward and inappropriate thoughts - sin is still sin and error will always be error - but He understands!!

As Patti and I pass through this time of testing and trial we have "not so good thoughts."  Fearful thoughts, legalistic thoughts, hopeless thoughts, fleshly thoughts and murmuring thoughts.  They just come and when they do they distress us - greatly.  But I keep having some interesting thoughts as well.

I think, "Why me, why this,why now, why so heavy?"  Kind of like Moses I want to say, "Here I am Lord, send Aaron!"   Even, "Let this cup pass from me!"  But I am humbled when

I have the thought, "If not me, then who?"  I struggle to accept that this is His will for us right now.  Not to sound arrogant - but, He picked us for this and this for us for His glory and honor - not to mention our blessing.  This makes us no more "special" than any other believers - it just makes us the ones He is using where we are, in this circumstance.

With no Egypt there would have been no Exodus.  Without a crucifixion there would have been no resurrection.  No, I'm not elevating myself or my situation but I am trying hard to see it within the context of God bringing glory to Himself and strengthening me.

What helps is, He understands my fearful and anxious thought,s and though I know He desires that I overcome them by trusting Him, He is sympathetic to my weakness and frailty (which is part of what He wants me to see and appreciate so I will lean on Him).

Please dear ones hold tight to the truth that He understands all our thoughts!  Yes, He disapproves of many and worries for us over others but none of them come as some cosmic shock to Him.  He knew we'd have them and has provided relief for and from them because He understands!

Father my heart and my mind are weak and rebellious.  Only You can temper and tame them.  Knowing that You understand and that You sympathize and provide is such a comfort.

But Father, do not let me grow lazy or complacent concerning them.  Let me take hold of them and bring them to You for Your ministry and mercy.  Be gentle with me Lord for I am much like a little rabbit - jumpy and anxious.  Care for me by giving me the heart of a child when it comes to You.  Give me stronger trust and firmer assurance as each day passes and my imaginings and fancies prove false though frightening.

Let me know more and more Your lovingkindness and Your understanding and open myself to Your instruction and care.  Make me remember Your past mercies and provision and be deaf to the lies and cries of the deceiver.  Let me look only to You and hear only You as You minister to me through Your Word, Your Spirit and Your people.

Thank You for letting me know - You understand!!

Amen