The Hell of Melancholy 020114 4:39 AM

Another day
Gotta live it
He woke me up to it
There must be a reason

Wanna believe that
More than I do
That He has a reason
For my being alive today

I've seen it
Even in the dark
In the cold
So cold my breath freeezes

But what
Will He do
For me
Selfish, selfcentered, self-absorbed
Me

The affliction
Inside
And outside
The circumstances
Create a vaccuum
In my heart

OK so far
But I know
Not much further

Devotions
HA
Seem hollow
Contrived
But
They are all
Of the little
I have
Doing
Just doing
Must sometimes
Be enough

"If only"
Meatloaf was right
"The loneliest words you'll ever know,
If only-if only it was so."

Another day
Things to do
Things for Him
Or I'd not be.

Goooood morning
This is WHOPEless radio
Playing in your head
With all the new hits
To get you threw the day

Stay tuned
More darkness and despair to come

Note to the reader:  There are a few magical moments in the morning where the tide is our and one does not feel like they are drowning.  Those with afflicted souls have t grab those moments and get as close to God as they can becasue they know that this is the time - low tide - when they can steak; that sense of His closeness and the truth of the Gospel and maybe  just maybe catch a glimpse of the joy they knew and yet know is there.  But you gotta be "rabbit quick."

The Hell of Melancholy 013114 PM

Survived nother day.
Hope hurting.
Truth reassuring.

What do you do when what yoou feel so overwhelms what youo know?
Trusting God in a cold dark place is tough.
But we do.
Or at least we want to.

You can only sit very still
And very quiet
Hoping to hear
Hoping for the call
Or the knock on the door
Of God's providence
Blessed relief

Your mind wants to race
Your heart pounds
You are tempted to rail and complain
But you sit
Very quiet
And
Very still
Waiting

Confidence
And fear
Battle in your heart
And mind

You think of all those
His providence has rescued
And you battle
The sence
That you are not to be one of them

So you wait
Very quiet
And very still
For Him

Knowing His will is best
Pleading to have the strength
To be faithful
To be wholy trusting
To not be terrified

You survive another day.
Praise God
Very quietly
And very still.