Melancholy - Moving Forward 020614

I hope you've gotten a better appreciation for the soul affliction of melacholy.  Whether you suffer it yourself or know someone who does it is a tough  thing to deal with.  But God is faithful and He will not let us face trials that we can not bear.  I know that sounds hollow, but it's true.

One key to our spiritual life when the affliction of melacholy is present is to keep it simple.  Pray simply.  Read the Word simply.  It is not  time to try for lofty heights or profoound depths of sirituality.  It is time for rest and trust and, well, simplicity.

I often simply pray the Model Prayer or the 23rd Psalm or another Psalm that toouches my need.  I often simly read Pslams of Proverbs to take in what spiritual nourishment I can.  As an old Puritain once wrote, "Do it s you are able in order to do it better."  Be gentle with yourself.

One thing to remember is that our feelings are twisted up by the affliction.  We have to really work to remember thaat what is true is true regardless of how we feel.  I've found that quoting (reading) passages of assurance like those found in Eph. and Rom. can make a real difference.  I just read them over and over not like a chant but to fix my mind and keep it from wandering to the worries melacholy brings with it.

If you are involved with someone struggling  melancholy you have a powerful ministry to be about.  Tenderness, patience and taking care of yourself are critical.  You can not "fix" it but you can be a source of comfort and encouragment.  It will take a lot out of you but God will supply your need.  You will at times, feel helpless and hopeless yourself and the things I've mentioned above will benefit you as well.

Perhaps the gretest thing you can do is to pray for and with your friend of family member.  Pray scripture with them, pray comfort for them, pray piece for them.  They are not defective they are afflicted.  One friend descibes their depression as a bad case of the ful that never ends.

I haven't mentioned medications yet but I need to.  My motto is, "Trust God and take your medications."  God in His providence has provided some wonderful treatments for melacholy and we would be foolish to not take advantage of them.  You want to be on the right med' that allows you to engage and address the melacholy.  I tell those I minister to, "You are not responsible FOR your melacholy but you must be responsible IN it."

The med's don'c cure anything but they do alleviate the melancholy so that we may, to one degrree or another, function responsibly. Remember the quote above, "Do it as you can......"  That's what you want your med's to do.

I'll revisit melancholy form time to time and am still open to questions and dialogue but that's about it for now - I'm "Doing it as I can........"

My prayers are with the melachoy and those who care or them.  You are not alone no mattter how alone you feel.  God is certainly with you and you are in the hearts and minds of many many others who suffer as you do.

May God lead you to the warmth and light of His grace more and more, day by day.

Michael

Melacholy - 020314 After morning blessings 10:00am

I am melacholy
But not without my uses

I can work within it
When I don't try to make excuses

Where is God in all of this?
Yep!

God is in all of this!

I am melacholy
Because
He has allowed it
Maybe He made it happen

But

What's important
Is that
In it
I have certain affinities
And insights
And abilities
I never would have
Without it

Again,
We all want to see a miracle
But we don't want the need of a miracle

We don't want to be blind so we can receive our sight
We don't want to be lame so we can walk
We don't want to be lepers so we can be cleansed

We don't really want to NEED a miracle

What we want to is to be OK
And get a miracle to get BETTER

We don't understand the usefulness
Our affliction brings
And that's understandable
Just not acceptable

Few know the vanity of life like we do
Few know the alure of the flesh like we do
Few know the pride of life like we do
Few know their sin like we do
SO
Few know their deep deep need of Christ
Like we do

Few get to know God or themselves - or others
Like we do

The Hell of Melacholy- BUT blessed 020114 14:00

I do nof feel joy
But I know I have reason to

I do not feel loved
But I know I am

I do not feel close to Him
But I know He is close to me

I do not feel the Holy Spirit
But I know He indwells me

I do not feel most of the things
The Word says are ours
But that does not make them any less mine

I don't think they are mine
I know they are
With a real solid knowling

I am blessed
Not to be confused with happy
But blessed
Blessed as in not cursed

I am afflicted and blessed
I find blessing in the affliction

I see the tear before it"s shed
I see the sadness under the smile
I here the cacaphony beneath the harmony
I feel the fear in words of courage

My affliction makes me hard to fool
About what you are feeling
Or not
And then
I can pray for you
Pray well for you

And

If He so desires
I'm here
Not surprised by
Your afflcition but ready to embrace
It and you

And

Be very very quiet
And very very still
Together

The Hell of Melacholy

I'll make no pretense at pretty words and no effort to edit this.  Today I am in the hell of melacholy.

It's a tough place to be as many many of you know.  It's cold and dark and the sense of utter isolation is terrifying.  But at's not the worst of it.

The worst of it is the utter obsession with one's self.  I've found that all my prayers, all my thoughts, all my cries are about me---my---mine.  what I have not and what I want -- what  need and the overwhelming sense of those needs.

But the hell is this - imagine someone unwashed, smelly, curled in a ball in a dark corner whinning for help.  Unable and unwilling to do anything for themselves.   Not knowing what to do and believing that no matter what they do it won't matter.

Now imagine that's you.  That's how you see yourself and that's how you fear others will see you.  You're pathetic and weak.  An object of scorn and rejection.  That's how you see you and how you sense others would see you if you let them.

Melacholy, for me, is like being sucked under by quicksand but not wanting to bother anyone or ask for help becasue they'll just find you wimpy and irritating.

You want to do something but you just know it will fail.  You sense your responsibility for at least part of your circumstnces and it feels like it's all your fault.  You know better than anyone else ever could how you've contributed to where you are at and it feel like you and you alone are onky to blame.

Yes, you may even want to be dead - but them you sense that you're already dead - just unburied.  You see sense no purpose for your life and yet you fight to find one.

Hanging on by the skin of your teeth is a very appropriate way to see it.  but them comes the sense that there's nothing to hold on to.

OK - don"t freak.  Anyne who has been on the hell of melacholy has thought avbout ending it all.  You really can't avoid those thoughts.  But fortunately, for most of us, even that seems purposeless.

You identify so closely with the lepers in the Bible.  Regardless of the pity, encouragement, etc. Others ffer, you are still a leper - unclean - unfit - to be avoided.

When in the depth of melacholy even the most genuine act of kindness hurts.  You're ashamed to need it - you're ashamed to accept it - you're ashamed - completely.

I'll quit now - rant over - but probably more to come.  There is a very real hell and then there's the hell of melacholy -

Have I touched something in you?  Wanna talk?  Wanna share the rant ith others?  Feel free -- contact me at sheepdog.ms@gmail.com.

I plan to continue to try to say all that we folks afflicted with melacholy want to say but never do - or if we do it's not understood.  Like - I was late starting my day today, my safe routine was ruptured and I felk myself sinking deeper - just 30 minutes crushed me - that's melacholy.

It's a blessing too though - without it I would never has seen just how self-serving and self-seeking and selfish my heart can really be.

Prayers are welcome - comments too --------

Best regards -
Michael

Unwitting Servant? 012213

"No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. (Mat 6:24)

These are the words with which Jesus begins His teaching concerning - well, concern, worry, fear, anxiety, etc.

I think I am learning more about this as every day passes.  If God is God and He is my God (and I am His child) then what Jesus says after this is wonderful news.  But if I have been seduced and blinded by sin, if I have bought into the world's game plan then perhaps it is still wonderful news but it is frightening news as well.

I must confess that I can see a "two master" part in my heart and mind.  All my worry and anxiety comes from a fear of not having, well, money.  When I had money I was at peace.  Now that money is scarce I find my peace fluctuating and my anxiety gripping me terribly at times.

Is it indeed a desire to trust two mutually exclusive masters that causes me so much distress?  I really have to admit that I really think it is.  My thoughts, at times, seem to revolve around the lack of Mammon and what that may bring with it.  

How can I claim to be His when I struggle so much with my dependency upon Mammon - my fear concerning it - my very real and practical need for it?  

It has been tough times for a lot of us.  But I haven't missed a meal, I have clothes, I have shelter, I even have gas in my car.  So why am I anxious?  Simple, there are coming needs I know and coming needs I suspect and coming needs I know nothing of that taunt me and rattle my cage.  While all the time (today) I am well provided for.

And who, pray tell, other than my God can I thank for this?  No one!  Today I am well - very well cared and provided for.  More than I need today!  

I'll be honest enough to tell you a big factor is, "What will people think?"  Will they think me a fool, irresponsible, a wastrel, a bum, a nut?  We have lived our lived committed to serving Him (poorly but sincerely) trusting Him in what we believed was our calling and He has never failed us.  

But even though we have surrendered many things our culture tells us we are supposed to "have," and "do," I have not really let go of it all.  I still had to have what I wanted but did not need.  So as we struggle I have to take my licks and learn my lesson that I have flirted with and at times surrendered to the lust o the eye, the lust o the flesh and OH boy - the pride of life.  

I write this and am doing this series in order to grow.  Perhaps you will see some of yourself in what I am learning - perhaps not.  But I pray God will bring me to His peace which is only found when I look only to Him for it.  I must hate that "other" god I have danced with and stand with my true God.

May God bless you, comfort you and strengthen you as He walks with you through whatever circumstance you find yourself in.