Predisposed “Second Hand” 01

Predisposed “Second Hand” 01

In his book A Lifting Up for the Downcast, (which I HIGHLY recommend) William Bridge writes

“Now it is man’s disposition to come to God at second hand. So long as man can find a fullness in any creature, he comes not to God; . . . . . So long as man has encouragement elsewhere he does not encourage himself in the Lord his God.”

We often wonder at the longevity of our struggles.  They seem to go on and on like the Ever- ready Bunny.  Bridge gives us an acute insight into why that is and perhaps how we can avoid it.

It seems to be a question of where we are prone to look in times when our souls are distressed and downcast.

First however it is important that we understand that it is our souls that are downcast.  Tragedy and trauma (either sudden or prolonged) have their effect on every part of us.  But it is our souls that God is concerned with first and so our souls should be our first concern.

When we get sick, do we pray first for His healing and after a season go seek medical help?  Or do we, without a thought of Him as our source of relieve, make the appointment with the doctor?

It is not an either/or I am proposing but a both/and.  The season of waiting in prayer need not be of great duration and certainly if the condition worsens we should pray harder/more and go see the doctor.  But because we assume there is a solution awaiting us at the doctor’s office we give no thought at all to seeking Him. 

In difficult times, when a solution seems desperately needed, how much time do we waste casting here and there for that solution?  Why do let the situation wear upon our hearts and minds until our very souls are in chaos?  Would we not do better and calmed to seek Him first, to cry out to Him for relief or provision and then to seek about for His answer? 

I so appreciate the Puritan writers.  So much of what they have to say graciously accepts the weakness, limitations and foolish propensities of man.  Oh, they may call it foolish and silly but they knew without a doubt that this is how we are and how we would be until He calls us home.

They, wonderfully, knew that:

1Cor 10:13  No temptation (adversity) has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

“Common to man,” what gracious encouraging words.  Even in adversity, when we exacerbate it with our casting about, this is common to man, every one of us!  It is, in the context of a fallen world and the lives of growing disciples, normal.  It’s what we’ve always done and we default back to it naturally.  It is not per se a sin but it is a foolishness that adds to our distress.

We have a lot of time, energy, peace and comfort to lose when we look about us in the world for aid and comfort first.  Note, I said FIRST!  Even though we sense that His provision is available through natural means (doctors when we are ill etc.) how rude is it of us to jump past Him – how thoughtless, how dangerous? 

It is an unconscious denial (take that word gently) of His sovereignty when we bypass the throne on the way to find help.  It is He who, first and foremost, is the source of our answers and needs.  When we (consciously or unconsciously) just assume that we are keeping ourselves to ourselves for ourselves instead of going to the ONE who loves us best and forever.

NOW, I am NOT trying to convict anyone of a sin – maybe silliness or foolishness but not of sin.  When we need to stop our cars quickly we don’t tend to pray before we put on the break but notice how quick we are to thank Him when the car stops just short of a collision.

When our souls are distressed and cast down  (for whatever reason) we need to intentionally go to the source of all and any provision first.  Oh, you may be lifting the phone to make that appointment but you can go to Him as you do. 

There is a great distance between wishing for a solution and praying for a solution.  Wishing puts its faith in chance, praying puts its faith in God.  Which do you think will give greater comfort? 

More to come  . . . . 

Loving 4B "Our unlovables . . .

To love one who is, for whatever reason unlovable is never an easy thing – it it always a hard, hard thing.  It takes work – mental, emotional, spiritual and sometimes physical work.

Remember the word family for anger?

The word translated “angry” is οργιζεσθε  orgizesthe its family follows:

οργίζω   orgizō

Thayer Definition:

1) to provoke, to arouse to anger

2) to be provoked to anger, be angry, be wroth

It is related to:

οργή  orgē

Thayer Definition:

1) anger, the natural disposition, temper, character

2) movement or agitation of the soul, impulse, desire, any violent emotion, but especially anger

3) anger, wrath, indignation

4) anger exhibited in punishment, hence used for punishment itself

4a) of punishments inflicted by magistrates

And

ορέγομαι  oregomai

Thayer Definition:

1) to stretch one’s self out in order to touch or to grasp something, to reach after or desire something

2) to give one’s self up to the love of money

And

ορος  oros

Thayer Definition:

1)    a mountain

I find it helpful to keep in mind that the word “mountain” is part of that family.  Loving someone who is hard to love is very much like climbing a mountain.  Now, I’m not much of a mountain climber but I’ve “clumbed” a few.  There are some things we need to consider when we undertake to climb a mountain.

The mountain has challenges and dangers.

We have strengths and weaknesses.

We have to measure our strengths and weaknesses against the challenges and dangers of the mountain.  We have to consider them individually and then comparatively. 

We also have to accept and appreciate that climbing the mountain may well involve pain and fear.

But, climb the mountain we must – for Him.

What do we bring to the mountain?  This is critical.  We’re not going to change the mountain.  But we can change ourselves. 

The key question is, “How can I climb this mountain.”  “How can I love this person?”

Some mountains we are not equipped to climb.  We have to move on.  Some mountains we can only climb taking a well-considered route. 

“How?” is the critical issue and it must be based upon the mountain and our strengths and weaknesses.  So, most of our thoughts (and prayers) need to be about us, not the mountain.  Only God can change a mountain.

Why is it so hard for ME to love this person?  What is the pain, the fear?  We must examine our hearts and minds to gain an understanding of these dynamics.  I am the one who is hurt or afraid, why?  Where does it come from? 

Think on this:

Psa 118:6  The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?

Neat verse – and true.  But notice it ends in a question and that question is of equal significance as the assertion is.  The LORD is indeed on our side but man can indeed do something to me.  It is this that causes fear and pain (or it can be that the fear and pain has already been caused).  Here are the challenges and dangers of the mountain. 

We are all too often prone to decide what we won’t do concerning our unlovables and this is a great mistake.  “I won’t let them get to me,” is a common commitment as is “I won’t take it anymore.”  But these are of no value.  The same is true of, “I won’t let them see me cry,” and “I won’t let them make me mad.”

You have to decide what you will do.  Loving is active – even pro-active.  If you don’t have your “I will do(s)” you’ll simply do what you’ve always done or worse, do something you’ll regret.

Yeah, this is all more about you than it is about them.  You can’t change the mountain.

One thing you can do – and yes it is loving – is to pass on climbing the mountain.  Maybe you don’t have to!  “Oh,” you say, “but it’s family.”  So?  It is better to not have anything to do with someone who provokes you than to make yourself available to receive their sin.  Actually it is a blessing to remove from them the temptation to sin against you.  For some reason you have become the target of their venom – the target of their sin.  It is a kindness – and it is loving – to remove that temptation.

Oh, it’s not easy – never – but there are those situations where it is completely correct.  If there is a situation/person in your life that consistently sins against you then remove that temptation (yourself) from the situation.  In doing that you are honoring God and loving the person.

Yeah, it won’t be comfortable and it will feel like they won but that is not the idea.  If the relationship has become a competition of whether or not they “get you” then the relationship needs to end.  Period.  Don’t play with them anymore!

But what about:

Mat 5:23-24  So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,  (24)  leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

I may be going out on a limb here (I don’t think so) but Jesus is talking about a legitimate grievance your “brother” may have.  If there has been a rupture in a relationship and you can restore the relationship, you are obligated to do so.  But, if this brother has something against you that is not legitimate, how do you restore that?  If they, for whatever reason, have singled you out to be mean to, how do you restore that? 

No, I believe Jesus is speaking about a legitimate complaint that you can and should deal with.

We are to be kind, respectful, courteous and sometimes that means being absent.  If, “Every time I get around X X X they are (mean, cruel, dismissive, rude, critical, etc.) to me,” then I suggest you greatly reduce the time you get around them!  You can’t change the mountain!

Haven’t you made yourself nutz trying to please, appease, get the approval of, thwart the meanness of, etc., this person?  Haven’t you struggled long enough with, “What have I done?” or “What’s wrong with me?”  Haven’t you exhausted yourself too often trying to figure out how to get them to be nice?

Mikey-ism “When you’ve done all you can, you are done.”  

You can’t change the mountain.

Just a quick thought.  If it seems that your presence provokes an individual to bad behavior is it not mean of you to put them in that situation?  Could that be a sin on your part?  OUCH!!!  I know that’s a little tough but you wouldn’t buy an alcoholic a case of whiskey nor would you get someone struggling with sex issues a subscription to Hustler.  And you don’t buy an anorexic Ipecac or a diabetic a chocolate Easter bunny.

No, you are not to blame for their behavior just like none of the above is to blame for those conditions.  But if someone is provoked by your presence and have proven that they will use any opportunity to take a shot, move the target.  It’s really an act of love – really.

Rom 12:18  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.