Too much "in me," in me.

Philippians 4:12-13 ESV
I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. [13] I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

I know how to be brought low....
Well, I know what it's like and it is no fun whatsoever.  But I have to reflect on why He sees fit to keep bringing me low.  I'm afraid it may well have to do with pride and cockiness and until I learn the lesson in the lowness I keep repeating it.

I know how, to abound....
I don't.  I don't do abounding very well, it tends to mess with my head.  Hence the lessons in lowness.

I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need....
Don't do any of that very well.  Get stupid in one and whiny in the other.  Hence, the lowness lessons.

I can do all things through him who strengthens me....
That's the "secret."  It's the "all things through him" all the time in all situations.  It's never "in me", it's just not going to happen.

"In me," is all the world of abiding sin; all the old man, all the body of death.  "In me," is not good.  "In him," is the only way to learn the lesson and have it stick.  But there is too much "in me," in me.