Sinning Away Conviction

Sinning away conviction of sin.
In his book, Indwelling Sin in Believers, John Owen writes of the believer who, "sins away his conviction of sin."

I must admit that this was a source of very real conviction for me.  I reflected upon how often I catch myself engaged in something that one might consider a "little" sin with less conviction than I should have.  Maybe a book or a TV show or a movie.  Even the purchase of something that I delude myself into believing will bring some lasting satisfaction and meaning to my life.

I am confronted with the question, "How sensitive to sin and I - really?"  I have to admit that like many folks I don;t do well in my answer.  As James tells us, my desires create havoc in my soul that unfortunately is common enough to be dismissed unless directly confronted from outside.

This is due to several things not the least of which is an intentional examination of most of my life in the light of the Word and the Spirit.  What seems OK is most often not.  The law of grace loses it's power to restrain me because my mind is not fixed upon Him, His sovereignty and His calling.  I simply find it distressingly easy to let the "little" one's slip by.

Though these "sins" are (according to man;s measure) "little" they have the cumulative effect of numbing my heart to sin in general.  The old "everyone does it," or the "it's not a biggy," even "I'm redeemed and forgiven," are poor rationales for my failure in regards to these sins.

I have to make myself remember that if I had only committed the least of these "acceptable" sins Christ would have still had to suffer the horrors of their payment.  There only one acceptable payment for any and all sins but I, maybe like may of you, have a tough time keeping this in the front of my mind.

So I grow numb to conviction in an ever increasing way and find myself humiliated by greater lapses.  Lapses that would not have been so easy to make had i dealt honestly and directly with the "lesser" sins.

All this is to say that we must (ok, maybe it's just me) must do whatever is needful to become and remain sensitive to all sin in our lives.

This take intentional commitment and discipline.  It is hard and tedious work.  It looks a lot like legalism but though the law was fulfilled its use in our lives still stands.  Somehow I have to move from being a mere fan of Jesus to being a fanatic for His glory.

Sin is spelled  S-I-N not O-O-P-S!

It's a scary proposition to consider praying for a level of sensitivity to sin that truly honors God.  So much of what is our lives - my life - will have to be examined and re-evaluated.  So much will have to change - even what seems like the minutia.

But - gratitude demands it.  God expects it.  The Word and the Spirit enable it.  Who am I to refuse it?

Pray to see to what degree you may had sinned away some of your conviction of sin.

Ever Before Me 011014

For I know my transgressions, And my sin is ever before me.
Psalm 51:3

Do we - do we really know our transgressions?  Are we as aware of, as sensitive to sin as we should be?  I know I am not and that is a cause for great distress.

I catch myself in sin and am shocked that I never saw it coming.

Perhaps you would say that I am being too scrupulous.  But is that even possible?  Are there some sins that deserve more attention than others?  Are there OK and not OK sins?  Do I consider the opportunity for sin in every choice and decision I make?  Can I be too scrupulous concerning my sin?

Why can't I cry with Paul:   Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?  Romans 7:24

I hear much talk about pornography, drugs, adultery and fornication (among others) but I do not hear much talk of envy, covetousness, fear of man, etc.  Are we making distinctions between the seriousness of sin?

Take, for example, one I struggle with constantly:  The desire to have material comfort and security over and above having a strong and effective witness.  My prayers are constantly assaulted with interruptive and distracting thoughts concerning my "needs" which inhibits (to say the least) real heart-felt prayer for His glory and the salvation of those around me.

Or, consider the struggle in praying when one is envious of those who do not have to deal with my trials and afflictions.  It is hard to pray when one's heart is envious and covetous.  These are sins few others ever see and yet they are there and of no less import than any other.  Yet it is easy to dismiss them or at least minimize them because they do not fall into the category of "big sins" (as though there was such a thing).

I want to know my transgressions as David knew his and to hate them more that I may love Christ more.  I want to be more sensitive and active concerning those sins you don't see and probably wouldn't suspect that hinder my prayers and plague my heart.  They are so easy to miss or dismiss that I must pray for the Holy Spirit to make my conscience raw and sensitive to these sins.

How can I know His salvation and its worth if my sins are not always before me?