For I Know . . . . 010314

For I know my transgressions, And my sin is ever before me.
Psalm 51:3

Do we - do we really know our transgressions?  Are we as aware of, as sensitive to sin as we should be?  I know I am not and that is a cause for great distress.

I catch myself in sin and am shocked that I never saw it coming.

Perhaps you would say, if I gave examples, that I am being too scrupulous.  But is that even possible?  Are there some sins that deserve more attention than others?  Are there OK and not OK sins?  Do I consider the opportunity for sin in every choice and decision I make?  Can I be too scrupulous concerning my sin?

Why can't I cry with Paul:   Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?  Romans 7:24

I hear much talk about pornography, drugs, adultery and fornication (among others) but I do not hear much talk of envy, covetousness, fear of man, etc.  Are we making distinctions between the seriousness of sin?

Take, for example, one I struggle with constantly:  the desire to have material comfort and security over and above having a strong and effective witness.  My prayers are constantly assaulted with interruptive and distracting thoughts concerning my "needs" which inhibits (to say the least) real heart-felt prayer for His glory and the salvation of those around me.

Or, consider the struggle in praying when one is envious of those who do not have to deal with my trials and afflictions.  It is hard to pray when one's heart is envious and covetous.  These are sins few others ever see and yet they are there and of no less import than any other.  Yet it is easy to dismiss them or at least minimize them because they do not fall into the category of "big sins" (as though there was such a thing).

I want to know my transgressions as David knew his and to hate them more that I may love Christ more.  I want to be more sensitive and active concerning those sins you don't see and probably wouldn't suspect that hinder my prayers and plague my heart.  They are so easy to miss or dismiss that I must pray for the Holy Spirit to make my conscience raw and sensitive to these sins.