Melancholy 020214 Faithfulness

Most times all I've got to offer to Him is faithfulness
Obedience
I don't have joy,  exuberant praise, just obedience

And sometimes it's just obedience becasue obedience is expected

I don't believe that faithfulness demands any special "feelings."
I just demands the doing of it.

And our obedience needs to be simple and honest

He calls us to pray - so we pray
We don't have to pray well
We just have to pray
We bring - prayerfully - whatever we've got
But we bring it faithfully

He calls us to study His word
So we do
It may be a little hollow
We may not feel inspired
But we need to obediently feed upon it
So the Hoy Spirit can work it into our minds and hearts

He calls us to worship
Individual and corporate
So we do
However  can
We do

All I have to offer Him
Is a crippled and staggering faithfulness
Sometimes I walk
Sometimes I crawl
In seeking to faithfully follow

Some He  calles to great things (as man estimates them)
Others He calls to small simply things
But He calls all of His
To be faithful
In what he has given them

The widow gave all she had
What do we have to give
Sometimes it's just faithfulness
In the simple and quiet things

Pray to simply be faithful
And then be faithful in those simple things
We're all called to it
Wherever we are
With whatever we have
However we can

In my affliction
All I can offer Him
Is my faithfulness
And sometimes even that is hard
Most times it's all I have

MS

In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I consider the days of old, the years long ago. I said, "Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart." Then my spirit made a diligent search: (Psa 77:2-6)

"When I remember God . . . ."

It is so easy to go through our day and forget God.  That is until something goes against our plans or our comfort.  Then we remember but do we remember rightly?

Consider:  

Therefore remember that at one time you Gentiles in the flesh, called "the uncircumcision" by what is called the circumcision, which is made in the flesh by hands-- remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.   (Eph 2:11-13)

Do we "remember" this or do we simply remember the comfort we have lost and that God has allowed (willed) it to pass?  Do we remember that He is sovereign or do we simply remember that He is able to bring us comfort and bring us out of any affliction.  Do we remermber God or our warped and twisted view of God as a Genie or Santa Claus?

Do we remember:

"Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, 'My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,  (Isa 46:8-10

Do we remember that God is God and we are not?  Do we remember that we are His slaves and He is not ours?  Do we remember that regardless of our perspective and sense, all He does is good and gracious?  Do we remember rightly or selfishly?

Our God is the God of grace and mercy as well as the God of justice and holiness.  His goal for us is to be holy as He is.  At times this means we see Him protecting and providing comfort.  At other times we see this in His twisting our plans, taking our comfort, saying no to our dreams.  This is the God of the Bible, the God who is first and whose goal is first - at least for Him if not for us.

We read in James and Romans that "patience" is a product of trials.  But we often see patience wrongly.  We tend to see patience as our "putting up with" whatever difficulty we are facing.  We tolerate it until it is over - at least we pretend to.  But this poor view of patience/perseverance is faulty.  It is not a standing still in the face of adversity - it is a moving forward.  It is a pressing on towards the goal we have in Christ Jesus.

There is as much good purpose in God's buffetings as there are in His blessings.  Indeed, from His and the Word's perspective, buffetings are blessings.  

Too often our faith is a facile faith.  We prefer to live by "Jesus loves me this I know," and to ignore that His, "counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose."  

We forget that His purpose is to conform us to the likeness of the Son, to enable us to do the good works He has prepared for us to do, to glorify and enjoy Him.  We forget that even though we are redeemed we still fight the principle of evil that resided in our flesh.  We forget that only heat will bring the dross to the surface that the gold or silver may be pure.  We forget that God is good and we are not - that God is God and we are not.  We forget.

And why do we forget?  Because we do not work at remembering.  We do as little as we can to fill our minds and hearts with Him.  Not in some belly-button meditating manner but rather in intentional, consistent and continuing hard prayerful work and intellectual effort .  We don't mind being told what He has said and He has done but we do mind having to go dig the ore out for ourselves.   We don't want to do the hard work of living as His - which begins with His work in us and continues in our work with Him by the power of His Spirit within us.

Like Israel in the dessert we murmur against Him when either the good He brings doesn't measure up to our expectations or the evil (trials) He allows inconvenience of discomfort us.  We whine and pull our hair and complain to and about Him.  

Where did we ever get the idea that anything He does for, to, in or around us is bad?  How could we ever be brought to such a blasphemous place?  One reason is that we have failed miserably to take advantage of all He has given us to prepare us for all He will give us.

We fail to study and meditate upon His word.

We fail to pray diligently and often.

We fail to be about the work He has given us to do.

We fail to examine ourselves in the light of the Word.

We fail to put Him and His agenda first.

We fail to be grateful.

We fail to be humble.

We fail to submit.

We fail.

And in that failure He works even harder to bring us to Himself.  He may well have to buffet us to bring us to blessings and He will.  What parent would not risk injuring their child to remove a poison from their tiny fist.  What loving friend would not shove one into the dirt to save them from a rushing car?  A surgeon must cut to save.  A doctor must poke and prod to diagnose and yet while we allow this for our benefit we resent God cutting and poking and prodding for our blessing.

I do not, ""remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart," if I ever sang one to begin with.

Our Psalmist says he will make a diligent search and this follows:

"Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?" Selah Then I said, "I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High." I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? 

(Psa 77:7-13)

He repents, recalling God as God and nothing else.  Will we?

Weeping in sorrow but not too much.

First let me apologize for the lack of posting anything new for the past several weeks,  It is not uncommon for a believer to find themselves under such affliction that anything they might say seems selfish and hollow.

As Patti and I pass through this time of trial and sorrow we have had a very real struggle to keep ourselves productive - me especially.  I have started many post only to stop and realize I was so focused on where we are ( and where we aren't) hat my writing was a great disappointment and so could not be published.  For you who follow this blog, please forgive my lack of faithfulness and my self-absorption.

Though I don't know if I can keep our circumstances out of my writing I will make the best attempt I can, relying upon His provision and power.

Let me just say this - it is very very easy when one is undergoing some affliction or other difficulty to miss the blessings that are all around you.  When one is looking for something specific to happen it is easy to miss what is indeed happening.  Missing the many blessings that do occur is something we need to consider.  While we wait upon Him we must not forget that in His sovereignty He is guiding everything and though He can work instantaneously and awesomely He is still working in the common and everyday blessings we so often overlook.

Yes, we need to be thankful that, "things aren't worse," but we need to work to see and be grateful for how things are - even when a part o that is not so hot.

In his work, A Christian's Directory, Christopher Love writes:


That Christians should take a great deal of heed, that they do not be immoderate or excessive in worldly sorrow, either for the meeting with any crosses, undergoing any troubles, or the losing of any comforts here in the world.    Whatever afflictions you meet with, or whatever comforts you part with, you should take care your sorrows are not immoderate and inordinate.
Love, Christopher (2012-11-27). A Christian's Directory (Kindle Locations 372-377). Puritan Publications. Kindle Edition. 


The blessing o these words are, of course in the admonition to not to allow our sorrows to be immoderate and inordinate.  But the other blessing is that we may be sorrowful when we meet crosses, troubles or loss of comforts.

In a world that demands we "suck it up," "tough it out," and even "hang in there," we do ourselves an injury when we do not allow ourselves to acknowledge and express our sorrow.  Instead we bite our cheeks and force a smile - - pretending -- we are fine and happy.

Let me encourage you to consider your sorrow and to respect it.  Express it but do not allow it to overwhelm and crush you.  God blesses our tears as well as our laughter.  He takes notice of our joy and our pain.  I do not believe He would have us -- pretend -- things are good when they are not. 

Yes, we all have heaven to hope in and hope for but here we are going to have crosses and troubles and losses.   I praise Him that we may be sorrowful and even weep when things are thus.  It is a great blessing to know:


You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?   (Psa 56:8)

Father, though I hope in You, I hurt as well.  Thank You for Your understanding and mercy. Thank You that I do NOT have to - indeed I must not - pretend I am fine when I am not.  Thank You that You hold my pain in Your hand and send Your comfort to my heart.  Lt me come weeping to You - not over much - but rather to express my weakness, my frailty, my utter need for You.
Amen

Psalm 25:16-18 not done

Psalm 25:16-18 ESV
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. [17] The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. [18] Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.

In another post I mentioned a work by Christopher Love. The title is, A Christian's Directory.  It is indeed well worth reading.  He deals, at one point, with our struggles - sorrow concerning "worldly crosses," vs "our sin."  He writes:

"If you mourn for sin, the true joy that arises from the forgiveness of sin, will swallow up the grief that comes to you through any worldly cross of affliction."

Do we find that to be true?  I think that's part of the point of Psalm 25:16-18.  Our worldly crosses really can take our eyes off His mercy and grace which in turn diminishes our comfort and confidence in Him.

We are not prohibited in any way from sorrowing for our worldly crosses but we have to keep all things in perspective.  When we suffer "crosses" in our lives it is all too easy to forget the "cross" we will never ever have to bear.  This is very unhealthy for the believer.

I think we have gotten confused about "here."  We have forgotten that it is not our home.  We have forgotten that it is judged for destruction.  We strive to be "at home" in a place we are just visiting - though we are visiting with a purpose.

Even in this Psalm we can see how our minds can focus on the "crosses" to the detriment of our mortifying our sin.  We are forgiven - though we still sin.  It is our sin and its forgiveness we need to work on keeping before our eyes.

The Puritans can be tough to read.  They had great senses of humor but when it came to sin and salvation it seems to disappear (as well it should). They found themselves going to prison, to the chopping block, to the pyre.  They found themselves homeless, destitute, hungry, oppressed, persecuted ---- etc. etc. etc ---

But they also knew they were going to heaven - they knew they were saved and they fought anything, feeling or thought, that turned their minds and hearts away from those facts.   It's is not easy to hurt now and hope for heaven then.  Sometimes it hurts so bad now that we beg for heaven now.

We read in the Word about hero's.  Well folks - there is only one hero in the Word and that's God.  Every marvelous and miraculous deliverance, release, rescue, etc. were God's doing NOT Abraham's or Moses' or David's or Paul's --- but God's.  These men and women we elevate to the status of heroes were just men and women like you and I who learned to trust in God and were used by Him through His power and provision to be there when He worked His wonders and displayed His glory.

We've got to quit looking for and/or trying to be heroes.  We need to be humble and meek and faithful servants of the only hero (which is a pretty poor term for Him).

Let us be sad in our affliction but rejoice in our salvation - It's not always easy and it sometimes feels fake - but it is what we need to be doing.

Father, teach me, gently, to look to You alone for my needs and to acknowledge You alone for all my blessings.  Teach me from your Word how to do this humbly, regularly and wisely.

Amen

Sorrow for sins OR afflictions? Yep!! 002

Afflictions are, for the believer, God's refining fire.  Period!  They are not punishment but rather one way He responds to our need to trust Him.

Our faith (trust) is refined in affliction and so they are a sure source of comfort and encouragement.  But they are hard and they can hurt and sorrowing in them is not inappropriate.  


And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.   (Heb 12:5)

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.   (Heb 12:11)


AND


Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.   (Rev 3:19-20)

The discipline and refining of affliction is not easy and we need to know that we may sorrow in it.  Yes, we need to be hopeful concerning its purpose and outcome but we may sorrow as well.

Our sorrowing though needs to be healthy and honest.  We are not required to enjoy it but rather engage it as a gift - those He loves, He disciplines.  Discipline is not punishment it is training and training is not easy.  But if we keep in sight the goal He has for it and us we will do better than if we do not.  

Admittedly, this is not easy.  For one, when we are undergoing the discipline it seems that God is far from us and our brothers and sisters even farther.  We feel alone, abandoned, and isolated.  This is such a sad circumstance.  Perhaps this is one of the failures of the Body in that, though many are willing to pray for you - few come and pray with you.  Though many may hug you, few are willing to hold you.

There is a thing called sympathetic pain.  That's when an injured part of the body produces pain in a near by yet undamaged part of the body.  Maybe this is what "the Body" is missing.  I know that I have been convicted of not hurting for a brother or sister as I believe the Lord would have me and so my prayers were just embarrassing.  I am seeking to learn to pray from a place where I at least appreciate their pain and lift it up along with their circumstances.

Sorrowing for affliction should not be immoderate.  I mean it should not consume us and keep us from our "duties," such as prayer, study, worship, etc....  Yes, it is hard to pray when you feel your hair is on fire.   But what do you do when you feel you've stepped off the edge of a cliff?  Maybe pray all the way down???

No, I'm not trivializing the pain and sorrow of affliction but neither do I want to let any of us be so consumed by our sorrow that we just curl up and weep endlessly or hopelessly.  Weep - yes.  Sorrow - yes.  Give up?  Never - even if you just move slowly, move!

Imagine yourself as Peter.

"Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, 

(Luk 22:31)

Do you really think that Peter is the only one?  I don't, I won't, I can't.  BUT I also know that Jesus says:

but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers."   (Luk 22:32)

Do you really think Jesus is not interceding for you as well?  I don't, I won't, I can't. 

Father, my affliction hurts - physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I am in pain and my sight is dimmed.  Sometimes I can't see You.  Sometimes I can't feel You.  Sometimes I fear You have left me.

But Father, I know You can not lie.  I know by Your Word - the very Words of Your Son my Savior that You will never ever leave me - and that nothing can snatch me from Your loving and mighty hand.

Yet I am weak and I am anxious and fretful and sorrowing.  Do not let me wallow in this but accept my sorrow and fretfulness and even my anxiety as part of my realization that I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR, in every circumstance.  AND that Your plans for me are for me to glorify YOU and to be a witness and evidence of Your grace and glory.

Father, it does not feel good but I know it has to BE good.  Father I would not have chosen it for myself but I need Your power and strength to accept Your choice of it for me.

Father - calm my heart, still my mind and draw my eyes to You.

Amen

Sorrow for sins OR afflictions? Yep!! 001

Christopher Love, a Puritan preacher and writer makes a distinction in his, A Christian's Directory, between our sorrow for sin and our sorrow in afflictions and trials.  I highly recommend this book as a wonderful encouragement and of course, a challenge.

In this work he explores that curious place where we are sorrowing for our sins and 
afflictions, a place where we can lose our way and confuse our sorrowing.  It's not as complicated as it sounds but I wanted to post something to help those who consider reading this work get the most out of it.

We sorrow for sin and we sorrow for afflictions.  One is not necessarily related to the other.  As a matter of fact, one is easily confused for the other or embellished by the other resulting in just an unproductive sorrowing.

Let us first consider our sin.  We always need to start by turning our minds and hearts to the cross where the penalty for our sins was forgiven.  Then we need to look to the is empty tomb, the proof of His victory over sin and death for us.  This is how we can grasp the seriousness of our sin and deeply appreciate His graciousness.

But - we can't afford to just stop there.  It is a dangerous thing to be presumptuous concerning our being forgiven.  Yes, He died once for all and the matter, in God's economy, is settled - yet we still sin.  Since we still sin we need to still be convicted and brought to repentance.  We're not "done" and we won't be done until He comes or we go.

Sin is never not serious.  It impedes our usefulness to God, it dishonors God, it sullies His glory.  This we need to have abhor and be repelled by.  We need to sorrow for our sins - we need godly sorrow for our sins.

It is all too easy to sorrow simply for the consequences (here) of our sins.  There is nothing wrong with this but if that is all we sorrow for - well, we need to repent of that.  It is the sin itself we need to sorrow for.  

The world, the flesh and the devil want us to minimize our apprehension of our sin.  They want us to not see the terrible cost of them.  They do this by playing upon our assurance and adding to that the easy and dismissive view of sin that is so very rampant in the "church" today.  They want us to (as far as possible) hide our sins even from ourselves.

It is not fashionable in the church today to have the perspective of Paul:


Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?   (Rom 7:24)

Instead they want us to narrow our view to verses like:


For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.   (Rom 8:38-39)

Indeed this passage is true and we can rejoice in it.  But when it is used to corrupt and minimize our sense and conviction of sin we are severely damaged.

James tells us that in reference to sin we must:


Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.   (Jas 4:8-10)

"Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom."

This should be the response to sin in our lives that drives us to the throne of grace in humility and gratitude.  Ok - I'm not talking "shame" although a sense of it is never inappropriate when we are caught in a sin.  But I would encourage you to develop a stronger sense of guilt than shame.  Shame can focus our attention more on us than on Him.  Since our "guilt" is before God it is a more effective way to really see and understand our sin and our forgiveness than shame could ever be.

Sorrowing for sin may well have some focus on ourselves but the main focus must be on the one against whom we have sinned.  Not some mean, nasty, far off God who just waits for us to mess up so He can "get" us.  But the loving and gracious Father who from the beginning has provided the remedy for our sin and claims us as His own at His own expense.  In short we must go sorrowing to the One who has already forgiven us and acknowledge His grace and our faithlessness.  We have His forgiveness, we must seek His empowerment - strength - insight - power ect. to "kill" our sin.

Sorrow for sin is central to our faithfulness.  It is critical to our health.  It is essential for our effectiveness in displaying His glory.  

Father,

I have sinned, I do sin and i will sin.  We both know that.  Please give me such a heart for You and such a gratitude that I never dismiss or lightly engage my sin.  Help me indeed to sorrow mightily and appropriately for each and every sin.  

Do not allow me to continue insensitive to the sinfulness of sin.  Do not allow my head or my heart to presume upon Your forgiveness.  Rather may Your Spirit so convict me that I run to You as a small child confessing my sin and seeking the comfort of Your grace.  Help me to weep for my sin as I remember to great cost of its forgiveness.

Amen

A Deeper View 012213b

"No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. (Mat 6:24)

"Money"  mammōnas:  Wealth personified; avarice

Ouch!

Most definitions of avarice say it's "extreme" - excessive or insatiable desire for wealth or gain : greediness.

But is that what Jesus is actually saying?  I don't think so.  I believe He's making a clear comparison between who/what we look to for our providence.  In the context of this, even the slightest "avarice" is extreme.

You don't have to be a greedy-wealth driven person to fit into what Jesus is talking about.  If I am looking to "money" as the answer to my problems and not to God, then I am double-mastered - actually I am serving Mammon.  

Paul writes:

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.  (1Ti 6:10)

The author of Hebrews writes:

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."  (Heb 13:5)

I have to say I am learning what Paul means by, "pierced themselves with many pangs (sorrows)."  I'm getting pang pierced quite regularly.  

I am especially sorry for all the waste of His provision.  Oh boy - let's leave it at that.  But being "sorry" isn't the point.  Repentance is the point.  I have to turn away from that oh so common money thing to Him.  I have to embrace Him and His promise and accept His will for me.

There was an old saying in my pre-disciple days that we "hippies" used - I will leave that to your imagination but - in this case I'll say, "God will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no God."

Jesus presents us with a choice - and for some it's a big and deep choice.  We have to really examine ourselves (a good thing anytime) for what pieces of avarice/mammon are tucked away in our heads and hearts.  

I suggest - from experience (current experience) that we look for envy, dis-satisfaction, grumbling, fear, anger, etc and see it they are connected to mammon.  

Are we dis-satisfied with God's current provision?  Are we fearful of our future known and unknown needs?  Are we, like Israel in the OT when threatened by invasion, looking to make unwise alliances?  Are we, like they, seeking some thing other than God in our need?

It's common to us but it isn't best.  We all know that.  We all know that God is the loving and gracious Shepherd.  We all know that He gave His best to make us His and that this is the greatest provision we could ask for.  We all know these things - but sometimes He loves us enough to take us to a place where we see our sinful seeking in other places.  He does that to halt us in our tracks and bring us back to His way - the only true way.

Sometimes it feels like He is teaching me to be a little child.  I cried in Patti's arms the other night and prayed to Him for to comfort and strengthen us in His Way.  I felt like a weenie - but I realized I was learning to come to Him as a little child who is utterly dependent upon Him for EVERYTHING.

Just goes to show that we can know something - and yet have to KNOW it better - deeper - more childishly.

Let's examine ourselves and ask His Spirit to both guide us and comfort us as we look for those thin, weak places in our walk.  It's OK, He intendeds to fatten them up and build some muscle.  He is never done with us - which really is good news!

You, those of you who can identify and those of you who don't yet - are in our prayers and  we are vaguely but faithfully lifting you up.  Remember it's "OUR Father ------"