[9b] Walk as children of light [10] and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.
I find that in general things it is not hard to disccern what is pleasing to the Lord. It's in the details that I find I struggle. What should I do with me freetime? Should I take this opportunity or that other one? Should I go here or go there?
Perhaps the hardest thing to do is to seek His pleasure in our vocation, our calling. What is it? How do I do it? Is it really what He wants me to do? How can I tell if indeed He is pleased with what I am about?
Doing His will pleases Him but discerning what that will is (what pleases Him) is tough. There's are many ways we try to discern if we are pleasing Him but most of them are dubious at best.
You sense His calling on your life and while you are about it you know His joy nd sense His pleasure. But circumstances make you question if indeed this sense you have is from Him or not. How do you measure, how do you know you are pleasing Him?
I have counseled not a few young men and women concerning their sense of vocation. I have always advised them that numbers, praise, popularity even affirmation from friends and family can all be decptive measures. I've always had a sense that though we are bent to look for success, our measure of success is something of which we must be very very wary. We are so steeped in the measure- ments of the world that we impose those measures upon God.
Let me ask you how you measure your vocation - what you do by the grace and emrcy of God in service to Him whether it is direct ministry or a "secular" vocation. Is it money? is it numvers? Is it acclaim? Is it confirmation from others?
This is a dangerous place for us all - perhaps especially for we who are involved in direct ministry. People tell us that if it is "of Him"" He will bless it. After many years I still don't know what that would or should look like.
The best I can do is to simply trust Him in that if He has me here, doing what I am doing for Him to use me in just one life, that is enough for me. No great vision, no big plans just doing what He brings for me to do and doing it faithfully - and doing my best to do it as it would please Him.
I have to trust Him for my pleasing Him. I have to wade through all the doubts, all the hesitations, all the questions and all the painful comments of others and keep doing what He brings to me to do -- trusting that He is (not that He will - but that He IS) leading me in His providence according to His promises.
Paul tells us to "try" to discern what is pleasing to Him. For me this is an admontion to constancy in prayer - seeking His providence in general and in the minutia. It is an admonition to spend much time in prayer for the vocation I am engaged in - and to spend that time consistantly.
I don't know how many of you struggle with your calling but I know that even though have been convinced of mine for over 20 years I still stuggle with the idea that I have missed it somehow because it is a small thing by the world's measure. But there's the rub isn't it?
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