Unwitting Servant? 012213

"No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. (Mat 6:24)

These are the words with which Jesus begins His teaching concerning - well, concern, worry, fear, anxiety, etc.

I think I am learning more about this as every day passes.  If God is God and He is my God (and I am His child) then what Jesus says after this is wonderful news.  But if I have been seduced and blinded by sin, if I have bought into the world's game plan then perhaps it is still wonderful news but it is frightening news as well.

I must confess that I can see a "two master" part in my heart and mind.  All my worry and anxiety comes from a fear of not having, well, money.  When I had money I was at peace.  Now that money is scarce I find my peace fluctuating and my anxiety gripping me terribly at times.

Is it indeed a desire to trust two mutually exclusive masters that causes me so much distress?  I really have to admit that I really think it is.  My thoughts, at times, seem to revolve around the lack of Mammon and what that may bring with it.  

How can I claim to be His when I struggle so much with my dependency upon Mammon - my fear concerning it - my very real and practical need for it?  

It has been tough times for a lot of us.  But I haven't missed a meal, I have clothes, I have shelter, I even have gas in my car.  So why am I anxious?  Simple, there are coming needs I know and coming needs I suspect and coming needs I know nothing of that taunt me and rattle my cage.  While all the time (today) I am well provided for.

And who, pray tell, other than my God can I thank for this?  No one!  Today I am well - very well cared and provided for.  More than I need today!  

I'll be honest enough to tell you a big factor is, "What will people think?"  Will they think me a fool, irresponsible, a wastrel, a bum, a nut?  We have lived our lived committed to serving Him (poorly but sincerely) trusting Him in what we believed was our calling and He has never failed us.  

But even though we have surrendered many things our culture tells us we are supposed to "have," and "do," I have not really let go of it all.  I still had to have what I wanted but did not need.  So as we struggle I have to take my licks and learn my lesson that I have flirted with and at times surrendered to the lust o the eye, the lust o the flesh and OH boy - the pride of life.  

I write this and am doing this series in order to grow.  Perhaps you will see some of yourself in what I am learning - perhaps not.  But I pray God will bring me to His peace which is only found when I look only to Him for it.  I must hate that "other" god I have danced with and stand with my true God.

May God bless you, comfort you and strengthen you as He walks with you through whatever circumstance you find yourself in.