Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way. (Psa. 139:23-24)
A very dangerous prayer!! Think about what is seeks from Him and what may be uncovered!
This prayer is one we need to pray. I think so because for me it fans the flame of my fear (awe) of Him. It intentionally calls for His scrutiny and the exposure of what He has to show me.
BUT - and it is a wonderful but - it also seeks His leadership which must include His power and strength and grace and mercy and provision.
The word translated "hurtful" may be a little vague. The Hebrew carries both the idea of pain and idolatry. But - we are so prone to seek provision from places and people other than Him that it really makes sense.
Many of us struggle in times of need and we can easily confuse looking for how He will provide with looking somewhere else for His provision. I have and I know others as well who have prayed that X would do Y so Z would come to pass. That's common but I don't know that it is good.
Our prayers should be to Him for His provision. I think we may certainly ask for it through X but we need to be very very cautious that we are not really asking for from X. There is God and there is us. In between are many many things He can use to meet our needs. But we need to keep our hopes in Him and not the potential means.
We tend to look for His provision through our experience - what we know has been a source of His provision. But we can not allow that to morph into looking to what He has used in the past more than we look to Him. Make sense?
Certainly our minds and hearts will jump from this potential to that potential conduit of His blessing but we need to do the disciplined work of bringing our eyes and hearts back to Him. This prayer in Psa. 139 is a wonderful way to do that.
It's is not vain repetition if we have a good purpose in it and He is the focus. It's not a magical incantation - it is knocking and knocking for what we need as we wait for Him to meet our need.
Father, please gently show me my weakness and my fault. Correct me in Your love and mercy. Do this so I will look to YOU and YOU alone form my provision.
When my mind and heart stray looking at how You may provide, draw me back to looking to You. Please help me put all my hope in You and to not divide it between You and some earthly/fleshly "means."
He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. (Psa 62:6)
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