Lord - I am afraid and feared.

Afflictions, be they spiritual, financial, health or whatever always give rise to fear.  It's natural, in our weakness and frailty to fear - especially when our sight is restricted and we can't see ahead.  We, certainly with help from the enemy, conjure all the worse case scenarios.

They haunt us and steal our peace.  they're divert us from the Word and prayer and all those blessings God provides to strengthen us and calm our hearts.  We are threatened by the possibility of drifting away from the only true source of life and hope.

But, in these times, we also come to realize that our afflictions give rise to fear in those around us.  Our testing, our refining  confronts those around us, I write of other believers, with their fears as well.  This has the common result of isolating us from the encouragement and comfort God desires us to have through them.  We miss being comforted with the comfort He comforts them with.

Their prayers are blessings, their hesitation to get intimately involved crushes us.  We are told of their prayers for us and some will pray with us but then they are gone and we are alone.  We are grateful for their prayers but we are none the less overwhelmed with a sense of abandonment, real or imagined.

We want our affliction to be, well, appreciated and acknowledged in all its sensed magnitude.  We want someone sometimes anyone, to share our pain and fear but apart from our loving Lord it seems a thing only to be wished for, ached for.   As I once heard a small child had said, "Sometimes we need Jesus with skin on."

Our Lord is utterly acquainted with all our griefs and yes, that is sufficient.  But I don't believe He intended to be the only one.  Too many verses enjoin us to share one another's burdens, to comfort one another, to be present with one another in affliction.  But, this is not common to our experience.

This is, I regret to say, because of their fear that they might become too intimately involved in the affliction.  Sadly, perhaps, they believe it will cost them too much.  Perhaps they fear they might "catch" the affliction.  Worst of all, it may be that they fear having to give up their comfort and that they do not believe they can do.

I am afraid and feared.  Like the woman in Mark who has to fight her way to Jesus merely to touch the hem of His garment, the afflicted are often prevented, by others, from getting close, from touching Him.  

Many of you face this struggle in you affliction.  It's tough and troubling.  But sometimes, as I think I am learning, He wants us to turn to and trust in Him alone.  We must not allow the deceiver to distract us by criticism of others - not even dismay about others - certainly not anger at others.  

In the garden we see Jesus in just this situation.   He takes His closest with them and they, so overcome with their own fears and fatigue - sleep.  Jesus is disappointed - I am sure He was dismayed and hurt.  But He understood their frailty and returned to the Father, the only hope and source that will not hinder, will not fear, will not sleep as we struggle in our afflictions and pain.

Father, keep my heart sweetly in You even in the fear and affliction.  Keep me from harsh thoughts of those who fear me and my need.  Help me - no, make me as understanding and compassionate as my Master.  Keep my mind and heart focused on You alone and let me be surprised by those You send to comfort and encourage me - for Your glory and my good in You.
Amen